I decided to go to the Website: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=11645
And I sign up our family as a team : " The Rincons" I just started, but little by little I know I will get to the goal.
I feel so proud to be able to do this - Today [ August 13,2008] Would have been my aunt's birthday - She like so many battled cancer for three years, however, suddenly last year she took a toll for the worst - as the worst case scenario happened - The cancer spread to both lungs and there she was putting a strong face and smiling to us - She even wore the Armstrong yellow band for cancer as to give her strength to what was to come.
Three years earlier - My Aunt was diagnosed with a Tumor in her right thigh, She went to all the procedures and well they had decided that she needed to have surgery - However that was the least of the battles - Try being diagnozed with cancer and you finally see the true colors of your insurance company - As long as you are healthy and making payments on time - Those people are happy - But get diagnosed with cancer - And well that is a second battle you have to endure - We battled everyday to try to get her a better doctor - To get her the best specialist, To get her to the surgery as soon as possible - Because as much of us know that we have gone through this - Time is of the essence - and every second is the second that will make a difference and having Years. Months or days.
I remember arguing with Nurses with doctors; Hoping that they would see our pain and our rush, but it was almost like every one had gotten so used to hearing Cancer - Ohh, that is just another cancer patient in a mist of so many. NO !!!! is not right - She is a mother, an aunt, A sister, She is not just another patient. What happen to the medical field, The compation, What happen to remembering life.
Well... No one really cared - I would sit hours in the Parking lot of school right before a class or right before a test and be calling and leaving messages for a manager or someone at the insurance company to call me. Once in a while I would have to run out of class, because they would finally call back - And to tell me a bunch of bolony I did not care to hear - " Maam, we have 5000 other people in the same position, you just have to wait, - WAIT - No you wait, And listen to me, Are you willing to take your own words if that was your Family" ...
After the many headaches - We ended compromising - The Best Surgeon, The Good Oncologist - The surgery went perfectly - She didn't have too mush nerve removed so the doctor's told us she should have a good recovery - Of course they gave us a step by step on all the Worst care scenarios - However our faith and our hope did not allow us to travel to that place -
The worst was still to come - She had Chemo, Then Radiation, Then More Chemo - During a Three year span - Everything seemed fine after a couple of sessions - She would go to the doctor and only give her a dosis of Chemo as prevention - But she was fine most of the time of course.
She did lose all her hair - She had bad days, Worst Days and even Worser days - But she fought - Like I had never seen anyone fight in my life. Towards the beginning of 2007, They send her some test and notice a shadow on the lungs - Weren't too sure - So they send her another test - We thought that it was probably nothing - However - The news turned to be the worst - The cancer had spread and it was in her lungs - Off course - They started determining what would be the best thing to do - Do they operate, Do they do stronger chemo, What was the best possible scenario. And It was so sudden how again she was back in the hospital - Getting weaker - Getting stronger Sessions of chemo - And she just looked so so tired -
At about the beginning of April - We were told that the Cancer seemed to have spread to the other Lung - We wouldn't understand - All the Preventive Chemo, All the sessions in the past months - What went Wrong ?? - Why instead of better, Everything was getting worst.
I started to read as much as I could on Cancer, On her specific cancer - I would take her articles, I would read to her, lEtting her know the things that she could do to get better.
The weekend before she passed away - I took her Colombian food " Arepita, Carne, Papa Criolla "- and then I bought her a complete kit to give her a pedicure and manicure, so I would spend the entite day with her- She was So happy - and it was funny because she made sure she called me first thing in the morning - " Donde estas - Me dijistes que venias a la casa" - Till this moment her voice puts a smile on my face.
So, I ended up spending the entire weekend with her , She listened to soft guitar music as I gave her a massage on very swollen legs, We re-decorated her room, I read to her about laughter and about how to get better, and we talked until she fell asleep as I gave her a pedicure.
Then came Monday - Back to work , However that week I wanted so bad to take a week off from work; so I could take her to the beach and just spend time with her. I passed by on Monday night my regular visit before going home - I was being bothered because my B/F had not spend time with me over the weekend so he didn't want me home late. I went Took her a wheelchair for some exams she needed to have done, Washed the chair talk to her very briefly, gave her a big kiss and told her that I would take care some Popsicles the next day -
Instead on Tuesday as I sat at work I get the Call : Tia is at the Hospital and she is not doing good, What, I didn't even understand what they were saying - I got up, took my purse and drove as fast as I could to the hospital - Once I got there - There they were - All the faces looking at me - wanting to cry, but staying strong - and I said - Don't worry she will be ok... I finally was taken to the emergency bed she was on - And there she was - Full of Machines - Breathing tubes, and more machines - She tried to talk, but she couldn't, She tried to write but she couldn't. I smiled and told her- You will be OK !!! - We are all here and you will be OK..
Then as they took her to Intensive care - She told the Doctor she didn't want the breathing tube - My Other aunt fainted - And not being able to do anything else - They took it off. We waited - Waited in hopes she would get better - She just wanted to breath on her own. However, They called us inside - An entire family and they told us it was time to let her go.... " This has been by far the hardest thing to do in my 30 years of life" - " LETTING GO!"
Today, it has been 14 months since that moment and I still miss her and I still relive that day, that week over and over again and I still feel like if it as yesterday that I was sitting next to her.
I know she battled the biggest war possible - More than she probably thought herself she would endured in a lifetime: The In's and outs of the hospital - The weeks the family took turns staying with her - Always trying not to leave her alone - The Green food she did not want to eat, The endless Vitamins and natural potions, The medecine, The Pain and well the Smile she put in her face when all she wanted to do is give up and cry.
- The day she died the entire Family was in the room - Sisters, Son, Nieces, Nephews - We all got to give her one last kissed and tell her one last word; And as I remember that whisper I wished so so much that she would still be here with me.
So in order not to continue to CRY IN SILENCE !! - I scream it out - I will try and try to help others families, Friends, Strangers to survive and to get many more weekends to enjoy, Smile, and cry.
If you want help, If you need advise if you just need to talk - Please let me know I can help you and together we can fight ths battle and we can make things better - Because YOU, " The cancer patient, the family member, The friend, The boyfriend, the wife or Husband - Are NOT ALONE !"
Do not CRY IN SILENCE !!
No comments:
Post a Comment